How Public Speaking Taught Me to Stop Explaining and Start Connecting
A few months ago, I joined an English-speaking club in Munich – about an hour’s drive from where I live, just across the border. I’ve always loved stories and the ideas they carry. But despite that fascination, I found it difficult to speak comfortably in front of an audience. Even at work, presenting to small groups made me uneasy. I joined the club hoping to change that.
The club meetings are structured to encourage participation: members can volunteer to give short impromptu speeches or longer prepared ones, and everyone receives feedback – both from the audience and from an assigned evaluator. So far, I’ve delivered three prepared speeches, and with each one, I’ve noticed meaningful progress.
Telling Stories That Matter
My interest in storytelling runs deeper than just public speaking. Back in 2019, I attended Robert McKee’s Story seminar in London, having traveled there from Ireland, where I lived at the time. One of the most impactful ideas I took from that experience was the principle of “show, don’t tell” – letting the story embody the idea without overexplaining the message. Another takeaway: creativity is decision-making. A story isn’t everything that happened, it’s a strategic selection of events that highlight conflict and evoke emotion. These principles guide the way I now prepare my speeches: I let the story do the talking and add only a brief personal reflection at the end.
One quote I often come back to when writing is from The Art of the Tale by Steven James and Tom Morrisey: “People can take issue with your propositions, but not with your discoveries. So, if you want to start an argument, tell folks what to believe. If you want them to listen to you, share with them what you’ve learned.”
This has become my guiding principle: I tell stories not to persuade, but to connect – knowing that while people might disagree with my conclusions, they can’t argue with what I’ve personally experienced or learned. My speeches usually center on two or three stories that build up to a conclusion. Each is based on something I’ve lived, read, or reflected on deeply. After all, as McKee also emphasized: you can only create from what you already know.
Here are a few techniques I’ve found helpful and continue to use:
- I choose engaging, often playful titles like Baking in the Age of AI.
- I usually start with a question to draw the audience in.
- I stick to three main points in the body, often illustrated by personal stories.
- I deliver my speeches without notes, practicing by recording voice memos and reviewing them to track improvement.
Feedback That Fuels Growth
Based on both formal feedback and my own reflections, here’s what I’ve observed:
What went well from the start:
- Clear message and structure
- Simple, accessible language
- Interesting, relatable content
What I’ve improved:
- I now speak louder and more confidently, even without a microphone
- I’m more grounded – initially, I tended to pace nervously across the stage
- My comfort with the audience has grown noticeably
What I’m still working on:
- Voice variety (intonation, pace)
- Descriptive gestures to complement the content
Interestingly, a few bits of feedback surprised me. I never thought of myself as entertaining, but some of my speeches made people laugh. Pauses – often a mix of intentional emphasis and moments to gather my thoughts – were also mentioned as a strength. I initially struggled with filler words, but I’ve learned to pause instead, which gives the impression of composure even when I’m nervous.
What ties all of this together is feedback. It has helped me understand not just what I can do better, but also what I already do well. Like my golf instructor once advised, I try to improve one thing at a time. And while I still get nervous before a speech, I feel much more at ease on stage. Bit by bit, I’m getting closer to my goal: telling stories that resonate, and connecting with people through shared human experiences.
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